You swear (I laugh)

Swearing makes me laugh. Whether it's "God-Dammit mike!" or "Seriously, you're gonna take up the whole fucking hallway?" I will be laughing.

Even if I'm not smiling, trust me, I'm dying inside.

Unexpected swearing makes me laugh harder.

"And I had finally stopped thinking about Tori...fuck."

"So I got this new car and well shit."

"Damn you Republicans!" (Known to some as Hoover you Robinson)

I think I'm just really weird but, hey if it's funny to you too, tell me

Every. Fraking. Year.

WARNING! I AM ABOUT TO RANT.

First off, you need to know I like to build things with Lego. And giving my liking to writing sometimes building a fantasy world in Lego with mini figures helps get the creative juices flowing.

Now I can tell you that I have two younger cousins that come over for thanksgiving, and every single year my Lego world is destroyed.

It's gotten to the point were I have to choose what's most valuable, box it up, and stick it on the top shelf.

Yet somehow, no matter what measures I take, destroyed.

I think the only way at least SOME of my things can be saved is for me to hide it in my closet on the very top shelf in the back.

As much as I'd like to see the damage I really don't want to know.

Now let me add another layer to my anger. I have another pair of cousins that build things too.

It's one thing for me to rebuild my stuff, quite another to rebuild someone else's.

I see these other cousins about twice a year and thanks to those destructive little boys the majority of Lego time is spent rebuilding.

I think I'm going to post the next chapter of Sad, Tortured, and British on FictionPress now, get my mind off Lego

*UPDATE*

It got worse. My heart breaks a little more everytime I look at it. I want to stop but I can't, it's like a bad car wreck I can't stop looking.

Part of me wants to rip apart their creations to see their reactions. Tell them that what they are feeling, the anger and sadness is what I'm feeling, only worse because they just wanted something to do. Ask them if they even considered what they were doing.

But I can't. I can stand up to people and tell them off about just about anything. But every year when this happens to my legos, I can't.

I suppose it's because I know they won't get it. Curse me and this knowledge because I'd probably feel alot better.

Then again I also hate conflict and would rather keep the peace, in that way I'm such a pushover.

To top it off I don't have a bed tonight. So yeah...today was fun.

Oh I also have to clean the mess up, not because they won't (Their parents will make them), I just know that...

Who am I kidding? It's over.

I just heard someone tell the kid their broken...thing...was an easy fix and it just sunk in. I really wish you could see this guys because you would know what I mean.

Well in conclusion to my sad and angry rant:

My(and my other cousins's) entire lego universe is destroyed

I really liked said lego universe


Silver Lining?
1. I have so many pent up feelings left, so I am going to be really productive in terms of writing tonight.
2. Lack of a quiet place to sleep will force me to stay awake meaning I can finish Fringe
3. I can also pick up the remains of my shattered universe.

Who me?

Me? Crying?

No I just...uh...have a cold.

(I need to stop reading Steve and Claudia FanFictions)

Light and Dabbles(ugh)

Today has had it's ups and downs I will admit, but right now I feel pretty, light.

I had to do a complete over through of my room. The politicians Clutter and Chaos needed to be put out of power! I had to take back what is mine. Occupy Thunderbird's room!

Yeah so I had been reading a bit of news regarding OWS...what's it to you!?!

But the thing that has made me feel light (other then the sudden appearance of my floor) is I got my computer back! I'm not posting from there because even though I just got a plug-in Internet connection, I have to put in the network key and it's a bunch of random letters and numbers so I can't really ask as I'm supposed to be sleeping.

Well in other news that really long run-on sentence I just produced is why I have editors for CPRB. Speaking of which having the computer back means no more shall I get bouts of inspiration I can do nothing about.

Did I say bouts? I feel like bursts would have made more sense there. All things considered anyway. Like how I question bouts in my vocab but not shall...(:

Bouts huh? That reminds me of how much I HATE the word 'dabbles'
I don't really know why but something about the word just...ugh...I hate it. Dabbles. Agh. Why yes I do dabble in the fine arts. Blagh! Go fall in a hole. But a shallow one because I don't hate you. I hate dabbles. And dabbling. And dabbled, dabble, so yes pretty much any form of dabble. Not too shallow though, just enough so you don't die. Unfortunately I've been too lazy to look up other words so...dabble...has to be used. I once wrote dabbles of stories. Which is actually how I discovered my burning hatred for the word. Dabble. It's a ridiculous word, but not a fun ridiculous like say...Razzmatazz. It's a stupid snobby word. I extremely dislike this post for it's overuse of dabble.

One could say I dabble in the art of dabble hating.

That one could go fall in a shallow hole.

So

Tell me a holocaust joke!

I don't know any,anne frankly, I don't find them that funny!

Oh. I did nazi that coming

I'm Hungary

Did you Czech the fridge?

I'm Russian to the kitchen now

Find any Turkey?

Yeah but it's covered in Greece

It seems you're stuck between Iraq and a hard place

Yeah Iran from the kitchen

Well don't Rome! I'll be there with food in a bit


Yep I'm bored

Pride

I don't mean just Pride in general. I mean that feeling that you get when your off doing whatever and then out of the blue you hear a song you love.

Now if you just listen to the normal radio you won't know what I'm talking about. Your favorite songs probably play all the time no matter where you are or what your doing. They're in movies, tv, playing in stores, cars, and pretty much anywhere you can think if.

I mean if your a big Radiohead fan for example (Which I am) and your sitting on the computer playing Sims while your sister watches a movie that your only half paying attention to and suddenly your ears hear Radiohead. Your attention snaps to the movie and you listen, maybe even mutter to your sister 'Hey, this is Radiohead'.

A sense of pride comes over you then. Not for knowing the song really, nowadays all people need is the Internet and they automatically know everything.

This isn't a song people play everyday so you don't find it popular. So when you do hear this you feel pride in the band for, maybe only for a moment, getting a chance at the rest of us. For just a couple seconds in Something Borrowed, people knew Radiohead.

That's not to say if the band suddenly is popular your ecstatic for them. *cough* Foster The People *cough*

It's because of your pride in this band that you've almost staked a claim on them. This was YOUR favorite band. It can't be everyone else's too. After all, where were they when this band was just a couple of guys trying to make a living? Where were they when they let a basic cable Syfy show borrow the rights? (Pumped up Kicks was played on the episode Vendetta of Season 2 of Warehouse 13, a week later they released the song) After all they think the song is a month old.

There's a bit of pride when it comes to our taste in music. Alright. A lot. Hearing the first few bars of a song we never hear can make our day.

Maybe it's just me. But keep that in mind next time you go 'Hey, I know this song'

Contented and Sammy Keyes

Just finished Night of Skulls. Which is sad because I only got it a couple hours ago. That by the way is the only thing I dislike about Sammy Keyes. They are so good and well written it only takes a day to finish them.

Ah well, I liked that Holly got to be in this one quite a bit. Holly is one of my favorites. Yep Sammy and Holly are like Charlie and Don't. Sorta. I spend way to much time on CPRB.

Time for a bit of shameless self promotion though. Wish I could give you a link but I can't right now so...

I want you, faithful readers, to go to FictionPress and in the humor part of the fiction section look for a story called Sad, tortured, and British: A life story. By parkitcharlie. Worth your time if you ask me, but I wrote it and am therefore utterly biased.

PS I'm not british!

More Then You Realize

I asked for my computer back. I had done what she asked, went a week straight without missing homework. Granted my week started last TUESDAY instead of Monday but I waited out an extra day just for that.

Apparently that doesn't work. I have to start on Monday. I'm not allowed to 'pick and choose'. I must be held accountable for late work that wasn't turned in BEFORE the deal had been made.

It really pisses me off.

Not because I can't go online, or tweet, or get on Facebook, or blog. No my iPod does all that.

It bugs me more then I let on.

I. Can't. Write.

Sure there's paper and pencil but I've said it before, I need to star typing it up. Once I have typed it I can whisk it away to my editors(friends) edit a bit myself.

Only then will I feel comfortable with sharing it.

I did what they asked, and I really am trying.

Sheesh it's arguments like my parent's though that are the reasons the carrot and the stick don't work.

Maybe it's just the fact that I've been stumbling psychology a lot more lately but here's how I see it; they set me a goal 'Go a week without missing any homework' my reward was I get back my computer. So I go and do just that. My reward is that I am told I didn't do what they ask and need to try again.

Though I'd like to think I get what they are saying, my pride and psychology articles tell me otherwise.

What this is teaching my mind is, in the simplest way of putting it, it does you no good to do as you're told.
Yeah, that thinking will fix my grades.

Maybe they were expecting overnight miracles. They wanted me to pop out of bed, sing a song, do my chores, all while preaching the word of the lord! (Okay probably not that last part, maybe the song though...xD)

Here's the thing about that. Surprise surprise, that's not how it works.

See another thing my articles taught me is this; One of the worst things you can do is force yourself to do something. Why? If you don't want to do something you tend to get distracted which leads to boredom which leads to sloppy rushed work. (Yes I said distraction leads to boredom, it's not the other way around) In order for this homework habit to work I need to get why this is important. I already know the obvious, no homework no A's. But years of getting by with it have taught my brain otherwise.

Right now, it's baby steps. Understand the importance of the material, get that there is and will continue to be homework. Then I can work on a habit of doing the work. I already know the second part and I'm working on the second. Old habits die hard so they say.

What I hope you got from my rant-like post was this A person can't change overnight, so don't expect them to. Change takes time.

Also, I really want my computer back.

Eat Fresh

I don't know why I hang out at the library sometimes. It gets so crowded and loud at the one by my school.

However the nearby Subway not only takes care of my hunger needs but has the wifi the library has AND is quiet! Yeah, go figure.

Well it does play the radio but eh... Free refills here. I swear though, if a coffee shop was nearby I'd be in heaven. Especially if it was a hipster coffee shop because they wouldn't play the radio there...

Ah Radiohead and coffee cake.

Better then meatball subs and Black Eyed Peas

Explanations

The last post was directly related to the amount of time I've been spending on CPRB, NOT my mental health...

Also I have no life. But I'm working on that.

Well...

That's all folks!

Hypothetically Speaking of Course...

If I had two people always following me around and talking to me, and I talked to them. That would be okay.

Now let's say these people aren't really people, they're...I don't know Dogs. Quirky, perhaps a tad odd, but still okay.

Now let's say these people aren't people. They're voices. That would be bad.

So, I have these voices that I chat with in my head. The voices are never mean and degrading, they are just like another person to talk to...aside from the fact that they don't exist. Would this still be considered a bad thing? The voices do no harm, sometimes they even cheer you up, so are they wrong?

In terms of flat out mental health, if I hear these voices and talk back to them, argue with them, confide in them, is that bad?

Hypothetically speaking of course.