More Then You Realize

I asked for my computer back. I had done what she asked, went a week straight without missing homework. Granted my week started last TUESDAY instead of Monday but I waited out an extra day just for that.

Apparently that doesn't work. I have to start on Monday. I'm not allowed to 'pick and choose'. I must be held accountable for late work that wasn't turned in BEFORE the deal had been made.

It really pisses me off.

Not because I can't go online, or tweet, or get on Facebook, or blog. No my iPod does all that.

It bugs me more then I let on.

I. Can't. Write.

Sure there's paper and pencil but I've said it before, I need to star typing it up. Once I have typed it I can whisk it away to my editors(friends) edit a bit myself.

Only then will I feel comfortable with sharing it.

I did what they asked, and I really am trying.

Sheesh it's arguments like my parent's though that are the reasons the carrot and the stick don't work.

Maybe it's just the fact that I've been stumbling psychology a lot more lately but here's how I see it; they set me a goal 'Go a week without missing any homework' my reward was I get back my computer. So I go and do just that. My reward is that I am told I didn't do what they ask and need to try again.

Though I'd like to think I get what they are saying, my pride and psychology articles tell me otherwise.

What this is teaching my mind is, in the simplest way of putting it, it does you no good to do as you're told.
Yeah, that thinking will fix my grades.

Maybe they were expecting overnight miracles. They wanted me to pop out of bed, sing a song, do my chores, all while preaching the word of the lord! (Okay probably not that last part, maybe the song though...xD)

Here's the thing about that. Surprise surprise, that's not how it works.

See another thing my articles taught me is this; One of the worst things you can do is force yourself to do something. Why? If you don't want to do something you tend to get distracted which leads to boredom which leads to sloppy rushed work. (Yes I said distraction leads to boredom, it's not the other way around) In order for this homework habit to work I need to get why this is important. I already know the obvious, no homework no A's. But years of getting by with it have taught my brain otherwise.

Right now, it's baby steps. Understand the importance of the material, get that there is and will continue to be homework. Then I can work on a habit of doing the work. I already know the second part and I'm working on the second. Old habits die hard so they say.

What I hope you got from my rant-like post was this A person can't change overnight, so don't expect them to. Change takes time.

Also, I really want my computer back.