HEEEY YOU!!

HEY YOU!

Yes you. I have to tell you something REALLY important!

Okay, are you listening?

If you like my blog PLEASE let me know and PLEASE spread the word!You can comment, follow, tell your friends, strangers, tweet about it, link it in your Facebook profile, make flyers and pass them out, write the url in the sky with a plane, change your friends' homepages to it, have it tattooed on your face, send out a mass text, write a letter to your local congress, eat your vegetables, make a tribute band, start a chain letter, spray paint it on a building, spell it out with alpha-bits, use your wits to build a machine and brainwash the general public, make a trendy internet video, whisper it in a horse's ear, brand it on a cow, enslave the human race, make it your bible, tell it on the mountain, start a fan club, respect your elders, do a flash mob, call random numbers to tell them about it, make a piece of art using only posts from this blog, tweet it again, start a webcomic, make a board game, post it on reddit, signal boost on tumblr, make a t-shirt, start a cult, make a crappy flash game, write a book with an extremely similar situation, call your in-laws, spread it on the grapevine, stitch it in a baby's blanket, tell your kids, tell a little birdy, you know whatever!

Just please let me know!

#MoreExcitingTweets

What is #MoreExcitingTweets you ask? The answer is quite simple.

The day was March 11, 2012. All day I had been making super boring tweets. Finally I noticed this tragic feat and so I did something desperate, I made a hashtag.

Since then I've been using #MoreExcitingTweets to spice up my timeline with exciting events, impossible stories, or even micro fiction.

This is a list. I'll have you know that in order to get this list I had to scroll back through several months of my Twitter...


  • Wrestling that liger today was pretty tough. He almost ripped off my arm!
  • Bungee jumped off the back of an eagle. I'd recommend it.
  • I can't believe the unicorn caught fire while we were jumping over the Grand Canyon! My pants nearly burned off!
  • I finally beat Tetris! I didn't even know that was possible!
  • I just highfived a walrus!
  • I was eating the sushi so fast that the friction of my chopsticks caused them to burst into flames.
  • I cut the blue wire. Nothing happened. ?
  • The force of the explosion knocked his hat off of his head and on to mine.
  • I filled a pool with cornstarch and water, resulting in a death trap...
  • I stared at the fly so long, with so much hatred, he burst into flames. Flys ignore me now.
  • The president called asking me for advice, I'd tell you what advice but that's a need to know thing.
  • Chuck Norris punched me. He regrets it.
  • I know all 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper.
  • I taught how to use a broadsword. Now he's a knight.
  • Snowboarding with Jesus tomorrow. Better check the weather...
  • also known as...METs?
  • ‏@LeDunhamnator :
    This movie is weird. In more exciting news: pineapples. ( , (; ) (Yep. I'm not the only cool cat on twitter who uses #MoreExcitingTweets)
  • @Sexy__Cats :
    how does work?
     :
    It's simple is used when you feel you've been making really boring tweets. Just say something fun and BAM!
  • I knew in that moment, that I was destined to rule the world.
  • I found a five-leaf clover. Right after I found a four-leaf clover.
  • In other news, today I watched a car hit a butterfly. Never knew what hit it the poor car.
  • Also, Three men walked into a bar, it later sued for battery.
  • You want to know why a pineapple is neither pine nor apple? I told it to be.
  • Domino's once delivered my pizza in under 30 minutes. It was free.
  • Guitar Hero told me I rocked...and I did.
  • I managed to swerve the bus just before we hit the old lady, saving her life and the lives of the passengers.
  • I removed the tag from my mattress.
  • His words didn't move me, I moved his words.
  • I told the lion to back off and he said sorry and moved out of the way of my safari jeep.
  • @LeDunhamnator :
    I could say goodmorning, but considering the time I won't.
  • And the Dinosaur King bowed down to me and agreed to be my twitter background.  (By the way that's what my icon is. The dinosaur king!)
  • I wear pumped up kicks. I feel no need to run.
  • I let the dogs out.
  • I walked into a room, meanwhile a baby was born.
  • My fever was so high, you could of fried an egg on my forehead. I wouldn't encourage eating it.
  • If you are going to spend the money to backpack through Europe...you might as well zipline.
  • I'm so glad the guy wasn't mad I took his zebra! I really needed it for the race!
  • The llama was happy with his new hair style. I was happy with my payment in gold.
  • I stepped out into the abyss, not a Starbucks in sight.
  • After being stung I raced to save the unfortunate bee.
  • The concussive force from the high five knocked over several bystanders
  • 2. It was surprisingly easy for me to sneak up on .
  • He screamed at me, begging me to save him as they dragged him away. I waved.
  • It felt weird knowing the man who made my sandwich was dead. And he forgot the mayo.
  • We became fast friends once I returned his wallet.
  • A dozen kittens and a panda cub just sneezed.
  • I wiped the sweat off my brow and added the clip, saving the world as I went.
  • At some point it became clear to them that I knew more then I let on. They ignored it anyways for their mind's sake.
  • @LeDunhamnator :
    I always read 's in this deep and calm voice, as if it's a breathtaking narration from a movie.
  • I didn't start the fire, but I didn't stop it either.
  • I would never recommend riding an Okapi, that is, until now.
  • I lied of course.
  • @LeDunhamnator :
  • I realized I was breaking the one and only rule, but it's okay. 61 NOTES ALREADY!!!  
  •  The giant smashed the apple in his large hand. "Applesauce" He roared.
  •  I bumped my shin into the table. "OW!" The table exclaimed. "Sorry." I replied.
  •  I bumped my shin into the table. "OW!" The table exclaimed. "Sorry." I replied.
  •  I dropped the annoying kid off... A cliff.
  •  I got tired of repeating "What?" so I just stabbed him in the gut and got it over with.
  •  "Well that escalated quickly!" Said the first person to ride an escalator.
  •  It was a shame I had to choke on the piece if meat. It was really good up to that point.
  •  I ended up not buying the van because it looked too "I want to steal your children" ish.
  •  I couldn't remember if the sign had always been white or the sky was just not as blue.
  •  I felt oddly conflicted as the waitress placed my new cup by my half empty one. To finish or not?
  •  I winced feeling my eardrum shatter. Angrily I told the guy behind me to stop chewing his popcorn so loud.
  •  Years later I would remember that I gave the wrong directions and the gas station was actually on the left.
  • Not sure what was more surprising, that my half brother was a politician or that he told the truth.
  •  They drank till their hearts were warmed and their cheeks rosy. I sat and froze cursing laws.  
  •  The bear took one look at me, one look at the steak, and ran off.
  •  "What do you have in here, bricks?" He asked taking the bag. Little did he know, it was actually filled with cats.
  •  I lay on my death bed and thought to myself, is Chinese food ever not relevant?
  •  "It's no big deal." He said taking the sword from my shaking hands. "He was going to die eventually anyways."
  •  All the sudden what the fortune teller had said made a lot more sense. I really should have taken the bus.
  •  It seemed a shame to let all those insults I had though up an hour later go to waste. So I started another fight.
  •  "I'm terrified of losing you" I whispered as my Wi-fi connection dropped to one bar.
  •  Once upon a time I was an avid user of Yahoo Answers...
  •  FIRE DOESN'T HAVE A FLAVOR SO WHY DO PEOPLE EAT IT??? ????
  •  But the weird thing was the dragon's fiery breath was only lukewarm. Go figure.
  •  I can't step on butterflies any more without wondering if I just changed the entire universe.
  •  There is something really unappealing about a wet scarf.
  •  When hosting a dinner for fire-eaters, it is not a good idea to replace the water with lighter fluid
  •  The irony in her forgetting your name was that you were the reason anyone got anything at all.
  •  He gave $100 in pennies. He wasn't a fan but liked the idea of someone counting out all that change
  •  He tried to offer a helping hand at the bakery but he wasn't kneaded.
  •  I looked on in horror as she dumped the entire bag of cheese on her pasta. Swim season had begun...
  •  I'm not saying that it happened, but if you were to ask if it did I'd probably shrug sheepishly.
  •  I already knew her hometown, favorite color, and dream job, but I asked anyway to avoid being creepy
  •  My grandpa was a real rebel. I think that's the reason he lived to 108, just to spite Death.
  •  Cool guys don't look at explosions...but guys who love to admire a job well done do.
  •  "K". His friend glared at the message without a reply. He died because of a lack of potassium
  •  "I thought you said you were a doctor!" "I am. I have a PhD in horribleness."
  •  Sarah didn't care what a "divorce" was. But Suzy Foster's parents got one so she needed one too.
  •  And then the dish ran away with the spoon. Leaving the fork to raise the spork alone.
  •  I saw a ninja turtle balloon animal hanging out of the clown's trashcan.
  •  I don't like custard so it must have been the lights. I was drawn to Andy's like a moth to flame
  •  It was all fun and games until the clown's appendix burst like a balloon animal.
  •  I was pretty much convinced the story was a rip-off until my friend pointed out it was, in fact, the sequel.
  •  Every time I see you I want to say something. But the words get stuck in my head and echo all day long.
  •  It's not that he was being rude, but if he would have opened his mouth to say thank you, the frog would have escaped.
  •  The house was quiet and dark. If she wasn't the one robbing the place, she might have been scared.
  •  John didn't like stealing the laptop, but his fandom needed him and finales aren't for the weak.
  •  Life turned around when Bob realized time is made up so technically everyday could be Saturday.
  •  "We've done it sir, we've surgically attached a laser to a walrus."
  •  Tim didn't know what to expect when he hit the clown car, but clowns comically spurting from the sunroof was a surprise.
  •  "You look like hell!" "Jerk!" Little did she know, Hell was actually a very attractive woman in South Dakota.
  •  Fun Fact: Dragons prefer yellow over amber, but they loathe yellow-orange.
  •  Sarah could never tell if Mike was in love with her, or in love at her.
  •  Hallway bears are becoming a real issue. They need hall passes.
  •  Jimmy liked the company's Facebook page taking pride in that he was the first of his friends to do so.
  •  She was a fan of simple things. She liked clouds, fire, and the look of his eyes in the moonlight.
  •  He had a lot of fantastic ideas but the whole "Being a cat" ruined things.
  •  And as she felt herself make peace with the world, she grew angry she had nobody to share it with.
  •  He awoke in a panic, frantically checking the other side of the bed. He was okay. She wasn't there.
  •  The sky toke on such a magnificent shade of blue, she wondered why Crayola hadn't made it yet.
  •  Her mind had stretched the building to castle-like proportions. It did seem bigger on the inside.
  •  He visited the grave often but could still hear his ancient mother saying she didn't see him enough.
  •  

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