Just one. I'm a few, no family, too. Who am I?

So let's talk Orphan Black.

If you're a regular reader than you know I watch a lot of television. You also know that every once in awhile I absolutely fall head over heels in love with a show. You also know that most of the shows I love are over. So with Warehouse 13 heading into it's final six episodes in 2014 I needed something to soften the blow. I found that something in Orphan Black.

Now I admired Warehouse 13 for several reasons, and one of those reasons is the phenomenal cast. What you say if I told you two thirds of Orphan Black's own phenomenal cast is one Tatiana Maslany?

I got 99 problems and they are all Tatiana Maslany. No really. You don't understand...

Orphan Black is a show about clones. Yes clones. The show follows Sarah Manning (Played by Tatiana Maslany), a small time con woman who is trying to ditch her old life to run off with her foster brother Felix and her daughter Kira. One fateful night Sarah runs into to a woman who looks exactly like her, before she can question it, the woman jumps in front of a train. Sarah sees this as an opportunity to pull off the last job she needs to get away.

She learns the woman's name, Elizabeth Childs (Played by Tatiana Maslany), and though on the outside it looks as if Beth had the perfect life Sarah learns the rabbit hole goes way deeper than she could ever imagine. As she digs deeper she meets Katja Obinger (Played by Tatiana Maslany) but she gets shot like right after she shows so who cares, Allison Hendrix (Played by Tatiana Maslany), and Cosima Niehaus (Just guess).

I haven't even listed all the clones yet but I think you get my point right?

So why should you be watching this show?

Well is the storyline about clones isn't cool enough for you then feel free to marvel how Tatiana can pour a glass of wine for Tatiana while Tatiana watches.

Maybe for some reason you don't think Tatiana is the most adorable little Canadian ever (Maybe Ellen Page is more your speed which I completely get so go read my last post)

Well there is Felix sass. A lot of it.

And if for some ungodly reason you still don't feel like giving this show your time well...WHY NOT?

ACTION MYSTERY HUMOR CLONES?????

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME???

Beyond Needing

Hey! I'm back! Physical keyboard with clicky keys and all. Man it's nice to have a laptop let me tell ya...

Anywho, I just got to say it's a horrible time to be a gamer with no money. Because this is an awesome year for games. What with all the next gen consoles and last hurrah games coming out everywhere.

My main issue with this whole video game business is I never jumped on the next gen train. I mean, I've got a PlayStation 2, a Wii, and a DSi. Yeah they don't really make cool games for those anymore. I've been fine with that for a while. Steam is there for me if I want a game and I could always mess around on my brother's Xbox if I really wanted to. Of course all good things must come to an end, and they did by way of mail.

Enter Game Informer. My brother subscribes to it and it's always fun to flip around and look at games before he can actually read the thing. Normally nothing really catches my eye. I mean there was Skyward Sword and Quantum Conundrum but that was an easy fix.

It started with The Last of Us.

A super realistic zombie apocalypse with an ultra-rad adopted daughter complex going on?

Hell yeah.

It's unfortunately a PS3 exclusive so that dream was shot pretty quickly. I promised myself I'd keep an eye on it though. A few months later, however, The Last of Us crawled out of it's grave and this time it brought a friend.

So what do you get when you take Ellen Page, angst, amazing graphics, and a pinch of supernatural what-now?

Beyond: Two Souls

don't even look at me

Yeah they basically put everything I could ever want in a game...IN A GAME!

So what's the catch then? That's right. PS3 ONLY.

So I guess this means I'm going to move on then.

 No really...I can't afford this I need to move on...

I can't

stop

GOD DAMMIT I NEED THIS.

1 Bread and 1/4 Cup Fruit

So apparently bread is a standard unit of measurement? I was eating an apple turnover and there in the nutritional facts was this message:

Contains 1 Bread and 1/4 Cup Fruit

Which I thought was just kinda weird. In fact I would have written it off as a joke if I hadn't decided to examine my bag of pancakes later on.

Yes. You read that correctly. My bag of pancakes

Maple Bursting? I thought they were kinda bland...

Ignoring the fact that such a thing exists and what that says about society, there on the back was this

Contains the Equivalent of 2 Bread

So I guess that's it. Bread is a standard unit of measurment. Clearly.

Have your own crazy bread equivalent stories? Cool. Tell me 'em.

i know you are out there russian audience

The Relay Team

Swim season is officially over now that I've made my way to state and back. But in reality it's just begun.

You see, our little quest for state got me thinking...there just aren't enough swimming movies out there...

The idea came to me while at a swim meet. My relay team, two freshmen and two seniors needed to drop six seconds to make a state cut. We came from a school that was more about IB and academics then sports. It all just seemed like the plot to another "based on a true story" tale. So I figured, why not make it one?

I know, I have a million and one stories planned out but this is one that I really want to see soon. I lived it. I don't even have to stretch the drama much because we didn't even make a state cut till the last meet anyways.

So I'll write the book and pray it get's picked up by someone who see's it's big screen potential. And the second they do, I'll have a swim team to call up.

Because there is no way I'd want to see it without them.

Thunderbird and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Collection of Events

Alternate Blog Post Title: A Series of Unfortunate Events

So I turned 15 back in January. I proceeded to break my iPod. And then a bunch of other kinda sucky things happened.

Dang it. This was supposed to be a really angry post. I'm too passive aggressive for this crap. I am Canada.

Today I spilled soda on my homework. Which really just...blergehgekjshdkashdk

That's alright though. I've got a pretty big ray of light shining through the clouds in that my relay made state!

Woo swimming!

I know what all you seasoned readers are thinking "Hey didn't you quit swimming like forever ago?"

Yes. But I was kinda sorta forced on to the high school team and well, as it turns out my competitive edge was never REALLY dull.

I will really attempt to update this blog more often...jeesh....

LATE BREAKING NEWS

We have just received word that Mr. Numbers brother, Mr. Texty, has taken charge of Thunderbird Productions Communications branch.

Last week the former chairman Mr. Poundkey, who replaced the beloved Mr. Numbers earlier this year, got into a horrid accent. He was still able to work but everyone was in agreement that a replacement needed to be sought. Today we have a confirmation that Mr. Texty has filled that spot.

"I'm going to try and run this branch the same way my brother did, because his methods were extremely effective and that's what this company needs." Mr. Texty said in his announcement speech earlier today. Everyone at Thunderbird productions is delighted to hear that Mr. Texty has taken charge and it is rumored that Thunderbird herself never really liked Mr. Poundkey that much anyways.

So I broke my phone. I dropped it and the screen cracked. It was still functioning, just extremely hard to read. The screen was also progressively getting worse, so I needed a new one fast.

I got my old phone, just a new version of it. It's blue instead of green, but it works the same and I'm in love.

I say farewell to my old phone's habit of butt dialing and hello to my habit of accidentally sending texts to twitter.

And That's What You Missed On...

ME!

Okay, I've been absent from the blogosphere. But I don't want you all thinking I left for Tumblr.

Because I've actually been kinda absent THERE too.

And if you pay attention to my handy little Twitter thingy, you'd see i've been missing there as well.

So if I was not on the internet (because let's face it there is no chance I was on Facebook) where in the world was I?

The short answer is, I got busy. I was on tech crew for my school's production of Sweeney Todd. That sucked up two weeks of my life essentially. Not to mention several Tuesdays before hand. I'm still working on catching up from that lack of sleep so my late night ramblings have been decidedly left out.

I'm here now though, and do I have a story?
Mmmmmrph....sort of no, sort of yes.
I have lots of interesting things that happened, but a nice story? Not really.

For instance, today I thought I was being robbed.

I had just gotten out of the shower and was all wrapped up in my towel when I heard the doorbell. I figured my dad would get it so I continued to be an extremely slow person. I assumed it was my friend Sophia, and then I realized it was almost seven and there was no way Sophia would be coming over now. Out of curiosity I left the bathroom (Still covered in my towel) and went to my room to peek through the blinds. I looked and to my great surprise, there was no one there. I heard a knock and so I panicked and ran back across the hall into the bathroom. I closed the door just in time, for the second I closed that door, someone else opened the laundry room door. They called for Rebbecca or someone, said hello a few times, before finally leaving. I listened to the car start and drive away.

When I calmed down enough, I ran back to my bedroom and got dressed. Now fully clothed I headed to the laundry room to...I don't know, look for clues I guess.

On the floor was a green reusable bag. Inside was food.

I was confused and proceeded to send a mildly panic-y text to a friend.

Later I discovered it was a friend of my neighbor's who had the wrong house.


SEE?

NOT AWESOME STORY.