I Love The Internet

It's the only place in the universe where comparing Caesar and Brutus to teenage girls at "that time of the month" can result in a marriage proposal.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the internet isn't normal. And that's why it's so great

Keys

If you thought this would be a post about how I am constantly forgetting my house key, think again.

I have a story for you all, a real one that actually happened to me unlike all those stories I said yesterday.*

I have this necklace.

I wear it every single day. The only time I take it off is to shower or swim. Sometimes afterwards I'll forget to put it back on and I'll freak out a little when I notice it's gone.

Essentially, I'm really attached to the thing.

Because I am always wearing it, I've had a lot of people ask me:

What are those keys to?
Why are you wearing them?
What does it mean?

Since I'm being honest here, if you want to be literal, the keys went to a pair of toy handcuffs I had that broke. I put them on a string, which later evolved into a chain, which broke so I had to get another chain.
Now if you want to hear what I tell everyone that asks, they are the keys to my soul. Which is a rather poetic way of not answering your question. Not that that answer is wrong, just misleading.

The other two questions are much harder to just answer in a simple conversation as they require a backstory, so I would just not answer.

So let's start at the beginning. I warn you that my life is a huge web of connected events, so depending on how well you know me...this may blow your mind.

On August 27, 2010 I watched my eighth episode of Eureka. How do I know the exact date you ask? It's called Wikipedia. It is also worth mentioning I had only seen three episodes of Warehouse 13 at the time.

Anyways in the episode several people have "hallucinations" this is the cause of several gags and also emotional turmoil for some. That night I went to bed thinking of the gold mine that would come from a character seeing something that wasn't real, this was the night I created Allison and Neil. Soon they would be tagged on to Charlie Parkit, but for now they were content with bugging me. (As most of the characters I create are.)

That night I had other things on my mind too, school was rapidly approaching and for the first time in...ever, I was invested in fictional character's lives. I knew that I needed something to remind me of them.

I looked at my possibilities and eventually decided on the keys. From that moment of they would be Allison and Neil. Heck, I can even tell you which one is which.

I started wearing the necklace everyday to remind me of my shows, of my creative side. I told people they were the keys to my soul because...they kind of were. My creative one anyways.

Eleven days later I'd write the first Charlie Parkit story and low and behold the keys would show up there.

So that is that. The real story behind my keys.

Oh, also one time someone asked if they could borrow them for the weekend. That was interesting.

"You want to borrow the keys to my soul?"

"Just for the weekend!"

"No!"

Ah friends...

*The one about the frozen pizza was true actually...



Did I ever tell you...

Did I ever tell you about the time someone had the wrong number and thought I was their girlfriend?

No of course not. That was just the only way I could think of to start this and plus it's not that great of a story.

...Also it never happened. So uh...yeah. If it had happened, it would of been an excellent story and you guys would of already read all about it.

Let me try again, this time with an actual life event.

Hold up...let me think...okay. Got it.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I had a project due and then last minute I changed groups and my new group sucked. Then after watching them bomb the project I moved back to my old group and we sung a song and were best friends. Then we went to a swim meet and one of them turned into a cat and when they turned back I hugged them?

Wait...I think that might of been a dream. A pretty awesome one too. I wish I remembered the song we sang because as I recall it was pretty darn catchy.

Okay I think I can tell a story this time...

Did I ever tell you about the time I went backpacking through Europe?

Wait...no...

Did I ever tell you about the time me and my friend Ron...I don't know anyone named Ron.

Oh come on...there has got to be a story I haven't told you, plenty of things have happened in my life!

Um...one time I baked a frozen pizza...and I was nervous, but the pizza turned out okay so...uh...

OH! I KNOW!

One time I was hanging out by my school you know? And I was kind of bored and a little lonely, plus I found this kinda deflated basketball, so I just started shooting hoops. Which was dumb, because I'm not very good. Well anyways these guys came up and they were kind of giving me a rough time about my free throws. We had a bit of a disagreement...okay it was a fight, but just a little one. Look, the point is, it freaked my mom out so she sent me to live with her sister and her sister's husband. Anyways I took a plane and then this taxi, which kind of smelled. I got to the house in the evening hours and that's pretty much how I became the Prince of Bel Air.

Well Hell Sandwich. That didn't happen to me either.

Guess I don't have a story for you tonight. Next time...

Thanks For That.

Thank you Mom for taking my huge roll of bubble wrap and throwing it away. I especially liked the part where you sliced my hand open in the process with your finger nail. Close second is immediately after when I said "You drew blood" and you said "I don't see any blood." while laughing.


Okay so this is a jerk move since I do have a lot of things I could thank my Mom for without the sarcasm, but seriously. I simple "Sorry" will do.

Actual post later today...

EVEN MORE QUESTIONS

I'm not even sorry this time. I love me some questions.

1: What do you put on hotdogs?
Ketchup. Which I know is so wrong according to hotdog enthusiasts but I don't care.          

2: Do you say "anticlimatic" or "anticlimactic"?

Anticlimatic.          

3: Do you check flyers before grocery shopping?

Nope.

          

4: Blue, black, or some other colour pen ink?

Let me start off by saying I hate pens. When I use pens my hand writing just falls apart. But I used black and sometimes red.

          

5: Do you use your parking brake?

Does a cheese doodle?

          

6: Look to your left. How many framed pictures are on the wall?

None. I mean there is a Radioactive Chicken Heads poster, but it's not framed.

          

7: Do you know how to play chess?

No. Probably not.

          

8: How often do you clean the interior of your car?

When necessary.

          

9: Do you ever read the last few pages first?

...Yes. Sometimes I just read the last sentence. I used to do this with Goosebumps books a lot.

          

10: Ever fallen in the shower?

I don't think so...

          

11: On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to swear at other drivers?

3. I'll probably just use not to profound profanities though...

          

12: What's the worst thing you've ever called someone you care about?

Fat little bastard. Yes I am talking about my cat Sparta.

          

13: Do you have a Snuggie?

No. Sadly.

          

14: Are you allergic to anything?

Not that I'm aware. OH OH! I can't wear band aids, they irritate me skin so maybe there is a slight allergy there?

          

15: Do you have any TV shows on DVD?

Duh. I mean at the very least you should expect me to have Warehouse 13.

          

16: How many times do you hit the snooze button before finally getting out of bed?

Snooze buttons is for chumps. I just turn off the alarm.

          

17: Ever driven away in anger?

No

          

18: What's your favourite freezie colour?

Red

          

19: Are you a vegetarian?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAA AHAHAHAHAHHAHA

No.

        

20: Do you have a garbage receptacle beside you? What's on top?

A trash can? Um...it's empty.

          

21: Do you cross out your mistakes or erase/whiteout them?

Depends, I tend to cross out more often though, even if I have an eraser.

          

22: Ever torn something up that you instantly knew was too important for such treatment?

Yes.

          

23: Do you think that things will get better?

Oh man I hope, because things for me aren't so bad now. And on a larger scale we could use it.

          

24: Do you have an unpopular opinion? What is it?

Jori.

          

25: What's your favourite quote?

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." - Johnny Carson

Close second goes to

"I wish there was, like, one day where cats had people arms so I could high five them and shake their hands and fist bump them." -Neil Grayston

In truth I don't have a favorite, but these are great...

26: Did you/are you going to go to prom?

Probs

           

27: What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced?

Well, I slammed my thumb in a car door by mistake once...and then the door locked...

28: What's the most emotionally/mentally painful thing you've ever experienced?

Watching Emily Lake/Stand.

        

29: Have you ever legitimately saved a person's life?

Not that I'm aware...

           

30: What's your favourite book genre?

Crap if I know. Fiction?

          

31: Did you like "Gigli"? Be honest.

What? Hang on let me google that...

Wow. That movie has some looooow ratings. I don't know, never seen it. I probably would love making fun of it though...

           

32: Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?

No but I wanted to during Julie and Julia. We RAN out of the theatre the second it ended.

33: Do you peek between your fingers during the scary scenes?

No I just look down so it's not in my direct line of sight. I do this with really sad scenes too. Anything I don't want to watch really.

           

34: What was your reaction to Tatum getting killed whilst stuck in the pet door in Scream?

Thanks. I haven't seen Scream because I'm not a horror fan and now it's ruined for me.

          

35: Do dogs like you?

Yeah...I guess.

          

36: Would you say that you project an air of authority?

Would I say? Hell Sandwich no.

          

37: Do people listen when you speak?

Sometimes.

           

38: How are your elbows? Are they okay?

Yep.

          

39: What is one thing that you do exceptionally well? Be honest.

Improv? Maybe...um... I can crawl like really fast. I'm like a baby cheetah, and by baby cheetah I mean a baby human that crawls as fast as a cheetah. I have excellent flight or fight response...

          

40: Do you use torrents?

Naw. There isn't anything I've needed like that.

          

41: When was the last time you paid for music?

Don't know.

         

42: Are you addicted to technology?

Yes.

           

43: Pick a person (you don't need to give their name). How do you feel about them? Be as honest as you can get yourself to be.

I can't think of a person.

          

44: Do you check your computer's dictionary for the definition of words you'd otherwise feel confident about using during in-person interactions? Just to be sure?

Oh sure.

           

45: How heavily to you rely on spellcheck and autocorrect?

Not as much as I used to, it's more like a cane then a wheelchair now.

           

46: Have you ever gotten into an argument on the Internet? Did you win?

Yeah, and normally I don't try and win it's more of a reach a mutual understanding.

           

47: Do you pause movies/TV shows if you have to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, or do you just let them keep playing?

I normally go during commercials.

       

48: If you use a regular alarm clock, do you have it set to music or that obnoxious beeping?

Beeps. I don't think my alarm clock can play music...

           

49: Peter Pan?

Like the character or the peanut butter? I have no clue what you are asking me here. Uh...no?

           

50: How often do you fall up the stairs?

Not too often, but often enough.

           

51: Do you pronounce "anti" as ant-eye or ant-ee? (Example: "That scene was very anticlimactic.")

ant-eye.

           

52: Do you pronounce "via" as vee-uh or vie-uh? (Example: "We can get there via Tremont Street.")

vee-uh

53: How often do you forget to close your parentheses?

I'm pretty good about it,but it still happens sometimes.

Roll Call

Blogger tells me I get viewers. So I know there is a handful of repeat visitors in countries other than America. (That or people stumble on to my little blog everyday.) The thing is, I have no clue if you are genuinely reading these posts or not. I mean...you never let me know guys.*

So I have a request. I don't ask much of you people really, so this should be simple. If you come across this post I'd like you to comment on it, I allow posts from non-blogger users so that's not an issue.

Just say "Hi" You can tell me more if you like** but all I really want to know is if I am talking to myself or not.

So if you're reading, say "Hello"! I'd love to get to know you a little better.
Or at the least, be aware of your existence.



*That's not completely true. Some people do let me know they are here...
**Why you like my blog for instance...hint hint...wink wink

Stand Up

So I've taken a stand against trolls before, and now for some reason I've declared it my job to keep the Jori fandom in line.

Let me tell you the situation.

On Tumblr we have the lovely tag "Jori" filled with the posts of Jade and Tori and adorable.

But recently there has been a pairing brought into light on Degrassi.

Enter Jake and Tori. Or as they like to call it, Jori.

This is a problem and the fandom reached a tipping point when after several weeks of silence a para was posted between Jake and Tori by a roleplayer.

Yeah. It pretty much blew up. The next thing the roleplayer knew their inbox was flooded with anons telling them to get out of their tag because we were here first.

For a while I just sat here and watched as the tag was flooded with responses to the anons crude messages. I only stepped in when I saw the ooc post that simply said this:

I’m not responding to any more of these messages. You can’t harass me out of the Jori tag, so keep sending the anons, I could care less. If you don’t like it, scroll past. That takes a lot less effort then sending me anons showing your ignorance. In the Degrassi world, Jori is Jake and Tori. Grow up and deal with it. You don’t own a tag

Well I was quite aware that would solve nothing. Almost no one has settled and argument with "Grow up and deal with it"

And so I sent him a message, off anon, explaining both sides. He calmed down and then I made a post to see if I could stop the harassment.

All in all I must say, after I posted saying we need to calm down so did three other people.

To end this on a clichéd note, it only takes one person. All you have to do is stand up.